Is Manchester United's Rio Ferdinand finally old and slow enough to play out his dotage in Serie A? Photograph: Andrew Yates/AFP/Getty Images
Rome, city of crumbling ruins. And, therefore, an apt destination for Rio Ferdinand. Handy, then, that Roma are interested in the dwindling Manchester United defender. This is quite fun: perhaps all footballers should be linked to clubs from cities for which they seem well suited? So we could spread a Frank Lampard-to-Paris-Saint-Germain rumour just for the "Lamps for the City of Lights!" headlines; or say that Sam Allardyce is off to manage a team in Pyongyang, where he will devote every interview to talking up his ability to conquer the world; or claim that Newcastle United's Alan Smith is off to the Bermuda Triangle.
Actually, that last one is true. No, hold on, it isn't. But it is a fact that Newcastle want Smith to go somewhere and have made him available for a loan move. He's on a rickety stall outside St James' Park as we speak, propping himself up against a video of The Goonies and a denim jacket signed by Shakin' Stevens. Leeds United are believed to be interested.
Arsenal have long been linked with a swoop, raid or plain old bid for Lille trickster Eden Hazard but word is they'll pay for their dawdling on that one and the Belgian will join PSG instead. Perhaps Wenger, given his new transfer policy, will take Joe Cole instead?
Manchester United are mulling over a move for Huddersfield Town striker Jordan Rhodes, who has already plundered 13 goals this season and has been scouted and given an enthusiastic thumbs-up from Paul Scholes, which suggests Rhodes may also have got a few red cards.
Arsène Wenger keeps insisting that he has three "world-class" goalkeepers at the Emirates but that can't, if the Mill has anything to do with it, stifle rumours of a summer move for Sevilla stopper Javi Varas. Wenger also wants midfielder Riccardo Montolivo, who's out of contract at Fiorentina next summer and also being eyed up by PSG, Bayern Munich and Manchester City.
City also want Cagliari midfielder Radja Nainggolan. In fact, one of the few players who isn't expected by someone to be playing for City next season is Carlos Tevez, who, if we invoke the spirit of the first paragraph, could be suited to a move to Melchester Rovers, since his dream employers do not, at the moment, appear to exist.
Actually, that last one is true. No, hold on, it isn't. But it is a fact that Newcastle want Smith to go somewhere and have made him available for a loan move. He's on a rickety stall outside St James' Park as we speak, propping himself up against a video of The Goonies and a denim jacket signed by Shakin' Stevens. Leeds United are believed to be interested.
Arsenal have long been linked with a swoop, raid or plain old bid for Lille trickster Eden Hazard but word is they'll pay for their dawdling on that one and the Belgian will join PSG instead. Perhaps Wenger, given his new transfer policy, will take Joe Cole instead?
Manchester United are mulling over a move for Huddersfield Town striker Jordan Rhodes, who has already plundered 13 goals this season and has been scouted and given an enthusiastic thumbs-up from Paul Scholes, which suggests Rhodes may also have got a few red cards.
Arsène Wenger keeps insisting that he has three "world-class" goalkeepers at the Emirates but that can't, if the Mill has anything to do with it, stifle rumours of a summer move for Sevilla stopper Javi Varas. Wenger also wants midfielder Riccardo Montolivo, who's out of contract at Fiorentina next summer and also being eyed up by PSG, Bayern Munich and Manchester City.
City also want Cagliari midfielder Radja Nainggolan. In fact, one of the few players who isn't expected by someone to be playing for City next season is Carlos Tevez, who, if we invoke the spirit of the first paragraph, could be suited to a move to Melchester Rovers, since his dream employers do not, at the moment, appear to exist.